Today

Today is a cold fleeting memory floating between consciousness and unconsciousness. It wakes me from my dreams and lulls me back to sleep. I slumber. For hours, days, weeks; I can’t remember. Today is my time of longing. Longing so great and so deep I cannot wake up anymore. Today is comatose. Broken and lost to the world in my head.

I hear you. I hear your gentle voice whisper in my ear as you kneel beside my breathing form, too afraid to touch me, I loved you. I turn over, pretending I heard nothing. But I heard everything. It stings. It sears me from the inside out. Don’t touch me. Don’t lie to me. Don’t…get away from me!

I believed you once upon a time, now never again. I want so badly to be healed of all this dead. I want to shed this old memory, you, like it never happened. If only I could. Leave. That’s all I want you to do is leave.