Fantasy 2

You don't remember me at all. And why would you? We were friends so long ago that the days we spent together melt away into a lump of sweaty recesses and peanut butter banana sandwiches. You had so many friends then, I'm just another one of those faces you stuggle to put a name to now.

But I remember what I felt about you.

They say it should be impossible for kids to know what love is, but I like being the exception. Can you deny that it is love when still to this day, twenty years later, I can still remember the way the ribbon in your hair made your eyes shine so bright?

I'm taking another girl out for dinner tonight. The same usual thing; dinner at a stuffy over-priced place, stroll through a park, "impromptu" movie, and walking her to her door. She'll tell me how wonderful the night was, aching to drag me through the threshold. And I'll stand there, with my dumb sly smile and hands tucked away in my pockets, telling her that I think she is really special and that is why we should wait. I won't call her after tonight. I will make sure never to see her again for the rest of my life. I'll go home to an empty apartment, grab a glass of wine and stare out into the city dreaming of you. I've broken a lot of hearts, and I know this, but all this time I have just been waiting for you to walk back into my life.

I've been holding my breath. Listening more intently than everyone else to hear your voice one more time. Time and childhood just happened to separate us, which I regret more than anything else in this world. I won't forget how your wobbly knees were always covered in scraps and brusies. I won't forget that your favorite shoes were those plastic pink sandals with the paw prints covering one of the straps. I won't forget that devious grin you always had right before you pinched my skin. You smelled of crayons, sunshine, and dirt. To me, that was the best smell in the world.

I often wonder where you are now. I have dreams of running into you in the wildest places. The grocery store down the street; you are buying strawberries and Cool Whip and I hold a frozen pizza under my arm. At my favorite coffee shop, you are justing sitting there reading in my favorite chair. I've even imagined waking up beside you with the largest smile on my face.

But I don't know where you are. I don't know if you have someone else in your life, you might even have a family. I hope your kids have that same glossy brown hair I have loved so deeply in my dreams.

Maybe you are a teacher, you always said you wanted to be like Mrs. Able, our third grade teacher who read us Harry Potter on rainy afternoons. Or maybe you are a doctor, you were always better at science than me. Or maybe you are an international world traveler. I can just picture you, with that huge grin, taking in every moment of life.

I don't ever picture bad moments happening to you. It might be just the disillusion of a lonesome soul or it could be that you brought so much joy to my life I would only hope everyday of your life would be the same. I know I love you. I have known since we were five-years old. And one day, I will be able to tell that to you in person.